Struggling With Communicating as a Couple? Here’s How to Do It Right
Your grandparents, parents and older friends have probably told you this: communication is key to a great relationship. But you also know by now that it’s easier said than done. In fact, a study revealed that 67.5% of marriages ended primarily because of communication problems.
Of course, you don’t want to be part of the statistic, so apart from communication counselling for couples, here are some simple ways that you can communicate more effectively as a couple:
Have a goal in mind.
Although you can engage in simple everyday conversations, the more serious things need to be thought about before you start communicating with your partner. What’s your goal for this talk? By knowing what you want to achieve, it would be easier to communicate clearly and not waste time talking over each other instead of for each other.
Learn how to listen.
We love to talk but hate to listen, don’t we? But good communication will only happen if you don’t talk at the same time. If you’re in a heated argument, let the other person talk and make sure to listen before you say your point. Never interrupt each other because the point of communicating is to hear each other’s point of view. If you keep on interrupting, it’s like saying that you don’t care about what the other person has to say, and you only care about your opinion, to which there’s no point in talking in the first place.
Think before you speak.
It’s easy to say words that could hurt the other person when you’re angry or upset, but most of the time, you’re going to regret what you said and once said you can’t take that back. A common rule that experts in communication counselling for couples teaches is to always think first before you speak. If you’re not ready to talk, you can write a letter or send a text message but be careful with the words you use. Never use caps lock because it gives the impression that you’re shouting, unless of course, you’re saying “I love you” and want to emphasize it.
Don’t accuse someone without proof.
Here’s the thing: it’s okay to be suspicious but accusing your partner of something without any concrete proof could easily ruin your relationship. For instance, if you think that your partner is cheating on you, gather proof first. If you don’t have any and it’s just really in your mind, let it go and don’t bring it to the table. But if you feel the need to, do it without making the other person feel that you’re accusing him.
Always show respect.
Although you can’t avoid arguments and misunderstandings in a relationship, you always need to remind yourselves that you’re on the same team and not against each other. Keep in mind that couples who work together in solving problems are those who last.
Whether you’re doing things on your own or you need communication counselling for couples, it’s very important to work together to make sure that your relationship will last. After all, it takes both you and your partner to make things work. If you feel like you need assistance, reach out to The Holding Space today and let our communication counselling for couples’ experts help you out.