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To Stay or to Leave? How Relational Therapy Helps you Understand your Choices

Relational therapy helps us learn how to be in a relationship with another person. It helps us understand that each person within that relationship is an entire holistic person. One with a past, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, history, and a filter that they see it all through. When we take two of these beings and connect them in any capacity, we are starting to form a relationship. Within that relationship, many dynamics occur… some feel good, some bad, and some in between the good and the bad. When we pay attention and slow down enough, we can locate and name these dynamics in a healthy and productive way. This can enhance our communication, trust, love, and compassion. In this blog from us here at The Holding Space, we discuss the transformative journey of understanding and navigating those dynamics through relational therapy.


Woman Therapist Counseling Couple | Relational Therapy in Los Angeles, CA | Relational Therapist in Los Angeles, CA | Relational Therapy in California | Relational Therapist in California | 90042 | 91103 | 91502

Coming to Relational Therapy is NOT a Sign That your Relationship is Doomed


When a client comes to us with communication issues within their relationship, the first thought is “No surprise here”. That thought exists as a first thought because almost every couple that comes to us says the same thing... “he/she/they don’t listen; it’s like we’re speaking two different languages; I don’t feel seen/ heard; we trigger each other and can’t seem to effectively communicate”. Welcome! This is a natural and human part of being in a relationship with another human being! It is hard at times.. it is draining at times.. and it is disconnected at times. This is all normal and no cause for alarm.


Coming to relational therapy is NOT a sign that your relationship is doomed and problematic. It is a sign that you are aware enough that you need extra help in digging into the dynamics that you and your partner have created (and probably are in repetition of from childhood).


The Comfort of Familiarity: Understanding Attraction in Relationships


When we find a partner that we are drawn to, there are many reasons for that. It’s pretty safe to say that there is something, or are some things, that are either consciously or unconsciously familiar about that person and that, in itself, is inherently comforting. I don’t say those were familiar things that are healthy or even feel good. I said that they were familiar and comforting. Familiarity is comfortable and comforting, like an old shoe even if that shoe is smelly, has holes and kinda only fits a little anymore. When we first open the closet and lay our eyes on that shoe... the smile, the ease, and the comfort are right there with us. Yet, when we put that show on and start walking around, we notice that, despite the immediate comfort of seeing and having the shoe, it doesn’t actually feel good. It hurts, it smells, and maybe even doesn’t fit at all anymore! That is when we are faced with a decision.. keep the shoe and make it fit dammit! OR, put it down and buy a new shoe. That’s where we come in!


Couple Smiling at One Another | Relational Therapy in Los Angeles, CA | Relational Therapist in Los Angeles, CA | Relational Therapy in California | Relational Therapist in California | 90042 | 91103 | 91502

Healing and Repairing Relationships Over Time


We are drawn to the familiar because, upon first glance and energetic exchange, it feels comforting. As we get to know our partner more over time, many challenges and dynamics show themselves. Sometimes, that old shoe can be Frepaired and we can help each other heal within that relationship. Sometimes you come to therapy and realize it is time for an entire new set of shoes and we end this relationship altogether.


Before we make any grand decisions, we want to get into the roots of the relationship. We want to explore that initial draw you had to one another and why that felt so good. We will explore what it is that you still like about your partner and what drives you absolutely bananas. Want to know something kind of cool? The things that you were initially and immediately drawn to about your partner are ALSO the things that drive you bananas later! Think about that and see if you can locate what those things are. Fascinating, isn’t it?


Unraveling the Dynamics of Couples' Interactions in Relational Therapy


In our relational work together, we get to the causes of triggers (past traumas) and how your partner is continuing to press those triggers. Which, in turn, most likely has you pressing their trigger buttons right back. This type of dance is all too familiar with many of our couples. We have the honor of stepping in and slowing down this dance just enough to catch each and every step to see where those triggers are. While also locating the nanoseconds just before the trigger is pressed to put in place a newer, healthier way for communication to unfold. Almost like magic, right? It kind of feels like that when we try something different than what we have always done. As long as you come in with an open enough mind and heart, coupled with some level of trust and willingness, we can make magic happen together.


Couple in Therapy Session | Relational Therapy in Los Angeles, CA | Relational Therapist in Los Angeles, CA | Relational Therapy in California | Relational Therapist in California | 90042 | 91103 | 91502

Start Relational Therapy in Los Angeles, CA Today!


Embarking on the journey of Relational Therapy in Los Angeles, CA can be transformative for you and your partner. If you're ready to explore the depths of your connection, understand triggers, and foster healthier communication patterns, take the next step with us at The Holding Space. Our experienced therapists are dedicated to guiding you through the complexities of your relationship. Whether you're in the midst of challenges or seeking growth, relational therapy offers a unique opportunity for healing and understanding. Don't wait—reach out today to start a journey toward a more connected and fulfilling relationship. Your path to relational well-being begins by following the steps below:

  1. Reach out to schedule a free consultation.

  2. Create a more balanced relationship today!


Other Therapy Services Offered at The Holding Space in Los Angeles, CA


At The Holding Space, we provide more than just Relational Therapy in Los Angeles, CA. We offer many kinds of therapy to help people manage their mental health and well-being better. Our experienced therapists focus on areas like Anxiety treatment, Couples Therapy, Depression treatment, Addiction Therapy, Art Therapy, Brainspotting Therapy, and LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy. We also talk about common issues like relationships, family, parenting, codependency, illness, and trauma. Whether you're seeking help for relational issues or any other aspect of your life, our Los Angeles-based practice is here for you. Reach out today to explore the support we offer and take the first step toward a more fulfilled and happier life.

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